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		<title>Published book is a two-part story and guide that helps couples rediscover passion and romance, and leads singles to find lasting love</title>
		<link>https://www.minds-valley.com/published-book-is-a-two-part-story-and-guide-that-helps-couples-rediscover-passion-and-romance-and-leads-singles-to-find-lasting-love/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mindsvalley99]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Oct 2023 07:33:02 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>&#8216;Corsets and Romance: Rediscover Passion, and Master the Art of Attracting Love&#8217; is set for a new marketing campaign HALIFAX, NS, Oct. 3, 2023 /PRNewswire-PRWeb/ &#8212; Lynn Sorge, PhD, wants to help those who become so unhappy in their relationship that even if they do recognize the cause, they have no idea of how to [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/published-book-is-a-two-part-story-and-guide-that-helps-couples-rediscover-passion-and-romance-and-leads-singles-to-find-lasting-love/">Published book is a two-part story and guide that helps couples rediscover passion and romance, and leads singles to find lasting love</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com">Minds Valley</a>.</p>
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</p>
<p>&#8216;Corsets and Romance: Rediscover Passion, and Master the Art of Attracting Love&#8217; is set for a new marketing campaign</p>
<p><span class="legendSpanClass"><span class="xn-location">HALIFAX, NS</span></span>, <span class="legendSpanClass"><span class="xn-chron">Oct. 3, 2023</span></span> /PRNewswire-PRWeb/ &#8212; <span class="xn-person">Lynn Sorge</span>, PhD, wants to help those who become so unhappy in their relationship that even if they do recognize the cause, they have no idea of how to repair it, and where to begin. She also wants to help those who do not have a soul mate or loving partner in their lives, and are suffering from loneliness by laying out the means to find a partner without going online at all, instead drawing upon everyday occurrences to meet and get to know that someone special.</p>
<p>In &#8220;Corsets and Romance: Rediscover Passion, and Master the Art of Attracting Love&#8221;(published by Balboa Press in <span class="xn-chron">August 2022</span>), Sorge presents a two-part story and guide that helps couples rediscover passion and romance, and leads singles of all ages to find lasting love. This book is divided into two parts. The first is a fictional account of a married couple who have lost their passion for each other, the problems within their relationship which this has caused, and the extreme lengths to which one of them goes to solve the problem. The second, non-fiction, is a step-by-step guide aimed at those who have not been successful at finding a loving partner, and succinctly lays out the steps one can take to find that special someone without using a dating site.</p>
<p>&#8220;Currently, we are living in a fragmented society where many of us live and communicate mainly online. In-person relationships appear to be becoming a thing of the past, and consequently, it is easy to become lonely and to feel isolated. Many of us miss touching and being touched by another human, and have become so accepting of our aloneness that we do not even realize something is missing from our lives,&#8221; Sorge says. &#8220;This book is intended to be an antidote to our solitude and sense of isolation. It is all encompassing in that it lays out and provides a practical and immediate solution to those in relationships where the passion that once existed has gone missing, while also providing a plan, including its practical application, for finding someone anew with whom to fall in love.&#8221;</p>
<p>When asked what she wants readers to take away from the book, Sorge answered, &#8220;I want them to realize that, regardless of how hopeless they feel their situation might be, there is always a solution to whatever challenge they might be facing. With a bit of creativity, honest communication, and the will to succeed, problems arising within an already-existing relationship can be solved. For those who have been unsuccessful at finding love, there is every possibility that employing suggestions from the tried and true blueprint offered in the book will very likely lead them to finding love and happiness with the person of their dreams. I also want them to understand that applying many of the concepts outlined in the book are applicable not only to their love lives, but also to many unrelated challenges they might face in their lives.&#8221; For more details about the book, please visit https://www.balboapress.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/813771-corsets-and-romance</p>
<p>&#8220;Corsets and Romance: Rediscover Passion, and Master the Art of Attracting Love&#8221; <br class="dnr"/>By <span class="xn-person">Lynn Sorge</span>, PhD <br class="dnr"/>Hardcover | 5.5 x 8.5in | 142 pages | ISBN 9781982272722 <br class="dnr"/>Softcover | 5.5 x 8.5in | 142 pages | ISBN 9781982272708 <br class="dnr"/>E-Book | 142 pages | ISBN 9781982272715 <br class="dnr"/>Available at Amazon and Barnes &#038; Noble</p>
<p>About the Author <br class="dnr"/><span class="xn-person">Lynn Sorge</span>, PhD, earned a BA from <span class="xn-org">Dalhousie University</span>, an MA from <span class="xn-org">New York University</span>, and a doctorate from <span class="xn-org">Oxford Brookes University</span>. She had a tenured position at <span class="xn-org">Dalhousie University</span> in the costume studies program for four decades, followed by an adjunct position in the faculty of graduate studies. This is her second book.</p>
<p>Balboa Press, a division of Hay House, Inc. – a leading provider in publishing products that specialize in self-help and the mind, body, and spirit genres. Through an alliance with the worldwide self-publishing leader Author Solutions, LLC, authors benefit from the leadership of Hay House Publishing and the speed-to-market advantages of the self-publishing model. For more information, visit balboapress.com. To start publishing your book with Balboa Press, call 844-682-1282 today.</p>
<p>Media Contact</p>
<p>Marketing Services, BalboaPress, 844-682-1282, <span class="__cf_email__" data-cfemail="443436213737362128212537213704262528262b2534362137376a272b29">[email protected]</span>, www.balboapress.com</p>
<p>SOURCE Balboa Press</p>
<p><a href="https://www.prweb.com/releases/published-book-is-a-two-part-story-and-guide-that-helps-couples-rediscover-passion-and-romance-and-leads-singles-to-find-lasting-love-301944314.html">Source link </a><br />
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		<title>3 Conversational Landmines That Couples Should Navigate Carefully</title>
		<link>https://www.minds-valley.com/3-conversational-landmines-that-couples-should-navigate-carefully-2/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mindsvalley99]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Sep 2023 14:35:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carefully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conversational]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Landmines]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Jared Sluyter / Unsplash Open communication is a valuable trait to nurture in any human relationship. This holds true for romantic relationships too, but many people tend to misunderstand what it means to communicate openly with a partner. When it comes to a new relationship, it is important to recognize the “newness” of your interpersonal [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/3-conversational-landmines-that-couples-should-navigate-carefully-2/">3 Conversational Landmines That Couples Should Navigate Carefully</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com">Minds Valley</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/product/the-7-habits-guaranteed-to-make-you-happy-ebook/"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="alignnone  wp-image-458" src="https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-300x300.png" alt="The 7 Habits Guaranteed to Make You Happy eBook" width="358" height="358" srcset="https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-300x300.png 300w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-1024x1024.png 1024w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-150x150.png 150w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-768x768.png 768w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-65x65.png 65w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-75x75.png 75w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-600x600.png 600w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook-100x100.png 100w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The-7-Habits-Guaranteed-to-Make-You-Happy-eBook.png 1080w" sizes="(max-width: 358px) 100vw, 358px" /></a>
</p>
<p>Jared Sluyter / Unsplash</p>
<p>Open communication is a valuable trait to nurture in any human relationship. This holds true for romantic relationships too, but many people tend to misunderstand what it means to communicate openly with a partner. </p>
<p>When it comes to a new relationship, it is important to recognize the “newness” of your interpersonal dynamic and give yourself the time to learn about each other’s past experiences and preferences at a pace that feels comfortable for both parties. Jumping too quickly into certain sensitive topics can lead to misunderstandings, misjudgments, or even unwarranted fears. </p>
<p>This is backed by science. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that there are three topics that are landmines in an otherwise flourishing relationship. Here they are.</p>
<h2>1. Sex Talk Is Great, But Not When It’s About Your Previous Experiences</h2>
<p>Conversation about what you like in the bedroom is an excellent way to build intimacy with a new partner. But here’s the caveat — keep it playful and, most importantly, make it about the two of you.</p>
<p>According to the results of the study, many individuals prefer to avoid details of their partner’s past sexual behavior. In fact, a significant portion (51%) of participants were more comfortable sidestepping such topics. The discomfort primarily arose when confronted with specifics like past promiscuity or attraction to previous partners. </p>
<p>These findings highlight the delicate balance between open communication and the potential pitfalls of oversharing, suggesting that in new relationships, the focus should remain on the present and building a shared narrative.</p>
<h2>2. Past Infidelity Is Your Baggage to Process</h2>
<p>The revelations of a partner’s past infidelity can cast a long shadow over a blossoming relationship. The study uncovered a significant inclination among participants to steer clear of details surrounding a partner’s history of infidelity. A notable majority of respondents expressed a preference to remain uninformed about past betrayals, which likely stems from perceived threats to one’s self-worth and the stability of the relationship itself.</p>
<p>If you are tempted to reveal to a new partner that you have cheated in the past, ask yourself why. </p>
<p>Even if this is based on a desire to be honest with a new partner, probe deeper into your motivation for going through with it. </p>
<ul>
<li>Do you feel unworthy of your new partner, given your history? </li>
<li>How do you expect your partner to respond? </li>
<li>How would you feel if they revealed a similar story from their past? </li>
</ul>
<p>Infidelity is a complex topic, and there are several psychological factors that lead up to it. For instance, you may have been in an unhappy or abusive relationship, the details of which your new partner may not fully be able to appreciate simply because they did not experience it firsthand. While that doesn’t necessarily justify the act of cheating, try to work through the fallout on your own, with the help of a mental health professional equipped to help you process feelings like guilt or sorrow. </p>
<p>Remember, it is important to be kind to yourself. By dealing with the consequences in an independent and healthy manner, you work on developing the confidence to ensure that your past infidelity does not spill over into your current relationship.</p>
<h2>3. Prejudices Are Best Unearthed Organically</h2>
<p>Rose-tinted glasses are notorious for masking biases and prejudices. This goes both ways. So, to counteract this, you may feel it is your responsibility to reveal to your partner your strong opinions on certain sensitive issues. However, it is important to realize that as the relationship matures, the filters eventually fade, revealing each person&#8217;s inherent belief system and how it manifests in the real world. </p>
<p>Speaking in hypotheticals about topics like political correctness, toxic masculinity, and other potentially sensitive topics, especially when you don’t know how your partner will respond to specific situations that play out in everyday life, is a slippery slope that could end in miscommunication. Or, at the other end of the spectrum, you may end up dealing with a &#8220;wokefisher&#8221;, who agrees with anything you say in the moment while doing a complete 180 when challenges arise. </p>
<p>The study underscores an apprehension among participants when confronted with their partner’s prejudices. While it&#8217;s essential to understand where your partner stands on critical issues, pushing for these revelations can be counterproductive. By allowing such topics to come up naturally, both parties have the opportunity to approach them with understanding and empathy, fostering genuine communication and growth.</p>
<p>A successful relationship thrives on the balance of acceptance and gradual self-disclosure. A recent study published in Human Communication Research supports this idea, emphasizing that the nuances in individual views become less volatile when framed within a trusted and well-understood relationship dynamic. Diving head-first into contentious topics early on can be akin to walking on a tightrope without a safety net. On the other hand, approaching these subjects when a strong foundation of trust and understanding has been established provides a cushion for inevitable differences and misunderstandings.</p>
<h2>Conclusion</h2>
<p>Navigating the beginnings of a relationship requires a delicate balance of vulnerability and discretion. While authenticity is essential, it is equally crucial to prioritize mutual comfort and evolving trust between partners. By approaching sensitive topics with patience and care, couples can lay the groundwork for a resilient bond.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hard-cold-research/202309/3-conversational-landmines-that-couples-should-navigate-carefully">Source link </a><br />
<br /><a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/product/manage-your-anxiety-40-ways-to-calm-yourself-ebook/"><img decoding="async" class="alignnone  wp-image-459" src="https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Manage-Your-Anxiety-40-Ways-To-Calm-Yourself-eBook-231x300.png" alt="Manage Your Anxiety 40 Ways To Calm Yourself eBook" width="339" height="440" srcset="https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Manage-Your-Anxiety-40-Ways-To-Calm-Yourself-eBook-231x300.png 231w, https://www.minds-valley.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Manage-Your-Anxiety-40-Ways-To-Calm-Yourself-eBook.png 538w" sizes="(max-width: 339px) 100vw, 339px" /></a>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/3-conversational-landmines-that-couples-should-navigate-carefully-2/">3 Conversational Landmines That Couples Should Navigate Carefully</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com">Minds Valley</a>.</p>
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		<title>3 &#8216;Conversational Landmines&#8217; That Couples Should Navigate Carefully</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mindsvalley99]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Sep 2023 06:16:42 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Jared Sluyter / Unsplash Open communication is a valuable trait to nurture in any human relationship. This holds true for romantic relationships too, but many people tend to misunderstand what it means to communicate openly with a partner. When it comes to a new relationship, it is important to recognize the “newness” of your interpersonal [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/3-conversational-landmines-that-couples-should-navigate-carefully/">3 &#8216;Conversational Landmines&#8217; That Couples Should Navigate Carefully</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com">Minds Valley</a>.</p>
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</p>
<p>Jared Sluyter / Unsplash</p>
<p>Open communication is a valuable trait to nurture in any human relationship. This holds true for romantic relationships too, but many people tend to misunderstand what it means to communicate openly with a partner. </p>
<p>When it comes to a new relationship, it is important to recognize the “newness” of your interpersonal dynamic and give yourselves the time to learn about each other’s past experiences and preferences at a pace that feels comfortable for both parties. Jumping too quickly into certain sensitive topics can lead to misunderstandings, misjudgments or even unwarranted fears. </p>
<p>This is backed by science. A 2020 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that there are three topics that are landmines in an otherwise flourishing relationship. Here they are.</p>
<h2>1. Sex Talk Is Great, But Not When It’s About Your Previous Experiences</h2>
<p>Conversation about what you like in the bedroom is an excellent way to build intimacy with a new partner. But here’s the caveat — keep it playful and, most importantly, make it about the two of you.</p>
<p>According to the results of the study, many individuals prefer to avoid details of their partner’s past sexual behavior. In fact, a significant portion (51%) of participants were more comfortable sidestepping such topics. The discomfort primarily arose when confronted with specifics like past promiscuity or attraction to previous partners. </p>
<p>These findings highlight the delicate balance between open communication and the potential pitfalls of oversharing, suggesting that in new relationships, the focus should remain on the present and building a shared narrative.</p>
<h2>2. Past Infidelity Is Your Baggage to Process</h2>
<p>The revelations of a partner’s past infidelity can cast a long shadow over a blossoming relationship. The study uncovered a significant inclination among participants to steer clear of details surrounding a partner’s history of infidelity. A notable majority of respondents expressed a preference to remain uninformed about past betrayals, which likely stems from perceived threats to one’s self-worth and the stability of the relationship itself.</p>
<p>If you are tempted to reveal to a new partner that you have cheated in the past, ask yourself why. </p>
<p>Even if this is based on a desire to be honest with a new partner, probe deeper into your motivation for going through with it. </p>
<ul>
<li>Do you feel unworthy of your new partner, given your history? </li>
<li>How do you expect your partner to respond? </li>
<li>How would you feel if they revealed a similar story from their past? </li>
</ul>
<p>Infidelity is a complex topic, and there are several psychological factors that lead up to it. For instance, you may have been in an unhappy or abusive relationship, the details of which your new partner may not fully be able to appreciate simply because they did not experience it firsthand. While that doesn’t necessarily justify the act of cheating, try to work through the fallout on your own, with the help of a mental health professional equipped to help you process feelings like guilt or sorrow. </p>
<p>Remember, it is important to be kind to yourself. By dealing with the consequences in an independent and healthy manner, you work on developing the confidence to ensure that your past infidelity does not spill over into your current relationship.</p>
<h2>3. Prejudices Are Best Unearthed Organically</h2>
<p>Rose-tinted glasses are notorious for masking biases and prejudices. This goes both ways. So, to counteract this, you may feel it is your responsibility to reveal to your partner your strong opinions on certain sensitive issues. However, it is important to realize that as the relationship matures, the filters eventually fade, revealing each person&#8217;s inherent belief system and how it manifests in the real world. </p>
<p>Speaking in hypotheticals about topics like political correctness, toxic masculinity and other potentially sensitive topics, especially when you don’t know how your partner will respond to specific situations that play out in everyday life, is a slippery slope that could end in miscommunication. Or, at the other end of the spectrum, you may end up dealing with a &#8220;wokefisher&#8221;, who agrees with anything you say in the moment while doing a complete 180 when challenges arise. </p>
<p>The study underscores an apprehension among participants when confronted with their partner’s prejudices. While it&#8217;s essential to understand where your partner stands on critical issues, pushing for these revelations can be counterproductive. By allowing such topics to come up naturally, both parties have the opportunity to approach them with understanding and empathy, fostering genuine communication and growth.</p>
<p>A successful relationship thrives on the balance of acceptance and gradual self-disclosure. A recent study published in Human Communication Research supports this idea, emphasizing that the nuances in individual views become less volatile when framed within a trusted and well-understood relationship dynamic. Diving head-first into contentious topics early on can be akin to walking on a tightrope without a safety net. On the other hand, approaching these subjects when a strong foundation of trust and understanding has been established provides a cushion for inevitable differences and misunderstandings.</p>
<h2>Conclusion</h2>
<p>Navigating the beginnings of a relationship requires a delicate balance of vulnerability and discretion. While authenticity is essential, it is equally crucial to prioritize the mutual comfort and evolving trust between partners. By approaching sensitive topics with patience and care, couples can lay the groundwork for a resilient bond.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/hard-cold-research/202309/3-conversational-landmines-that-couples-should-navigate-carefully">Source link </a><br />
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		<title>Chesterfield&#8217;s couple&#8217;s mission to make yoga and mindfulness classes accessible to all</title>
		<link>https://www.minds-valley.com/chesterfields-couples-mission-to-make-yoga-and-mindfulness-classes-accessible-to-all/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mindsvalley99]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2023 15:17:35 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Accessible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chesterfields]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[classes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Mission]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>Bronwyn Benstead, second left, and Kevin Karaca were helped by friends Ethan Cairns, Lizzie Henshaw, Martyn Stonehouse and Ed Pountney to get the premises ready for opening. (Photo: Submitted) Bronwyn Benstead and Kevin Karaca have set up a Community Interest Company in which profits are reinvested towards subsidising classes for those who need it. Every [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/chesterfields-couples-mission-to-make-yoga-and-mindfulness-classes-accessible-to-all/">Chesterfield&#8217;s couple&#8217;s mission to make yoga and mindfulness classes accessible to all</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com">Minds Valley</a>.</p>
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</p>
<p>Bronwyn Benstead, second left, and Kevin Karaca were helped by friends Ethan Cairns, Lizzie Henshaw, Martyn Stonehouse and Ed Pountney to get the premises ready for opening. (Photo: Submitted)</p>
<p>Bronwyn Benstead and Kevin Karaca have set up a Community Interest Company in which profits are reinvested towards subsidising classes for those who need it. Every class paid for at Kula helps to fund subsidised passes and helps teachers hold regular ‘pay what you can’ classes for all.</p>
<p>Kevin, who teaches mindfulness, said: “We have tiered pricing. Not everyone is in the economic position to pay for classes. Our Oak passes are the true prices at Kula, but we also have Elm passes which are our effort to make access to classes within reach.”</p>
<p>If you can’t commit to a membership, you can drop in to classes or attend Karma Classes that are pay-what-you-can, between £2 and £10. The next Karma class will be held on October 1.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="caas-img caas-lazy has-preview" alt="Daniel Smith, Bronwyn Benstead, Elaine Rudge, Simon Paterson, Ana Ochoa-de-Eribe, Lizzie Henshaw, Martyn Stonehouse  at a Slow Social meet-up for company founders and business owners which is held on the third Friday of the month at Kula. (Photo: Submitted)" src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/pykENRCAopgStd.m1.eZBQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTcyMA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/derbyshire_times_954/bb176472e1df1ae8959c8c6a2453e31e"/></p>
<p>Daniel Smith, Bronwyn Benstead, Elaine Rudge, Simon Paterson, Ana Ochoa-de-Eribe, Lizzie Henshaw, Martyn Stonehouse at a Slow Social meet-up for company founders and business owners which is held on the third Friday of the month at Kula. (Photo: Submitted)</p>
<p>Kula, which is based at 7 Mansfield Road, Hasland, will host an open weekend September 22 to 24 when visitors can try a class for £5. These 45-minute taster classes including mindful flow, chair yoga, introduction to yoga, restorative flow, Vinyasa flow and embodied yin. Space is limited so places must be booked in advance on www.wearekula.co.uk</p>
<p>A six-week Introduction to Yoga class will start on October 3, running on Tuesdays at 8pm.</p>
<p>Kevin, a copywriter and marketing strategist, said: “We’re firstly trying to establish Kula in Hasland and then we hope to expand our work into other local communities in the area. We’re not wanting to be huge, but we recognise that smaller, intimate spaces where people can come together has huge value. Whether that’s to practice yoga, learn mindfulness, or run a community event. Being able to speak and meet everyone present matters. It’s also less intimidating.”</p>
<p>Yoga teacher Bronwyn, who hails from Doncaster, and Kevin, who grew up in Brighton, met four years ago while working at Rab which manufactures clothing and equipment for climbers and mountaineers. Kevin said: “We were both new to the area and enjoyed hiking and climbing and it all went from there. In October 2019 we bought our first house in Spital.”</p>
<p>Story continues</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="caas-img caas-lazy has-preview" alt="Bronwyn Benstead is a registered yoga teacher (photo: Lizzie Henshaw Photography)" src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/SYzC1UThTgi3hfCUnIYyVw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTY0MA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/derbyshire_times_954/21f7ca6d4832cd4eef45271e0282db90"/></p>
<p>Bronwyn Benstead is a registered yoga teacher (photo: Lizzie Henshaw Photography)</p>
<p>Bronwyn, a forecasting and analytics manager at Equip, said: “We moved to Chesterfield just before lockdown. Those two years were hard not knowing anyone and as we’ve gotten to know more poeple, we’ve heard the same story repeating itself. People saying they want to meet others and saying they want to look after themselves.”</p>
<p>The couple took over the former party shop in Hasland which they transformed in just 10 days into the space now occupied by Kula. Kevin said: “The landlord had done the hard work of white-boxing the property. We got keys on August 4 and started scraping plaster off the floor to make it even that afternoon.” A paint party followed the next day and five days after that Bronwyn’s dad Steve and Kevin worked for 14 hours to lay laminate flooring.</p>
<p>A recent Crowdfunder appeal has raised £1,740 towards making the space more warm and welcoming and providing yoga chairs.</p>
<p>Since August 14 Kula has hosted 14 group classes, facilitated eight private classes and been visited by 39 students.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="caas-img caas-lazy has-preview" alt="Kula is based at 7 Mansfield Road, Hasland. (Photo: Submitted)" src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/vg3ukzD23fw4X80PbRHQmg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTU0MA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/derbyshire_times_954/19da16d097a5b9bf36d58f102dfc9900"/></p>
<p>Kula is based at 7 Mansfield Road, Hasland. (Photo: Submitted)</p>
<p><img decoding="async" class="caas-img caas-lazy has-preview" alt="Kevin and Bronwyn had a paint party at the premises which was turned into a welcoming space in just 10 days. (Photo: Submitted)" src="https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/CZYLR1xYEZmglzYWJ88G3g--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTcyMA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/derbyshire_times_954/a44a6b330d1a1fd79317875233c441ad"/></p>
<p>Kevin and Bronwyn had a paint party at the premises which was turned into a welcoming space in just 10 days. (Photo: Submitted)</p>
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		<title>A Couples Expert On How to Learn New Relationship Habits</title>
		<link>https://www.minds-valley.com/a-couples-expert-on-how-to-learn-new-relationship-habits/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[mindsvalley99]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Jul 2023 09:06:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Expert]]></category>
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					<description><![CDATA[<p>If you are struggling with a break-up and need to talk to someone, email lovebetter@youthline.co.nz or text “lovebetter” to 234. As much as you don’t want to believe the self-help gurus who interrupt your TikTok doom-scroll, one thing they hawk is true; habits make up the sum of our lives.  What we eat, how often [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com/a-couples-expert-on-how-to-learn-new-relationship-habits/">A Couples Expert On How to Learn New Relationship Habits</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.minds-valley.com">Minds Valley</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<br /><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>If you are struggling with a break-up and need to talk to someone, email lovebetter@youthline.co.nz or text “lovebetter” to 234.</p>
<p></span><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>As much as you don’t want to believe the self-help gurus who interrupt your TikTok doom-scroll, one thing they hawk is true; <span>habits</span> make up the sum of our lives. </p>
<p></span><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>What we eat, how often we exercise, the way we work. Being a human is made up of the habits we’ve adopted over time thanks to our environment and childhood. And those bastards are notoriously hard to break. </p>
<p></span><span/><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>But, just like we all adopted the habit of drinking coffee to feel subhuman or burning our retinas with our phones first thing in the morning, we can also pick up habits in our relationships – both positive and negative.</p>
<p></span><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>VICE spoke to counsellor Laressa Donaldson to learn how to recognise good relationship habits and find ways to break-up with the poor ones. </p>
<p></span><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p><strong>Poor relationship habits</strong></p>
<p></span><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>According to Donaldson, poor relationship habits are those that work against the relationship and erode trust, confidence and self-respect. This might look like dishonesty via lying to your partner, omitting important information from them and, obviously, cheating. </p>
<p></span><span class="abc__textblock size--article" data-component="TextBlock"></p>
<p>As well as dishonesty, there’s also a big difference between giving your partner feedback and criticising them. </p>
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<p>“Every relationship requires straight-up conversations, however, it’s all about the way in which we deliver our messages,” says Donaldson. </p>
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<p>“If we get into the habit of nitpicking or putting our partner down, it can erode their self-worth, and make them feel like they can’t do a damn thing right.”</p>
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<p>Plus, if your partner irritates you to the point that you criticise them negatively, they probably aren’t the person for you. </p>
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<p>“Nothing kills the mojo faster than feeling like you have a partner you can never please,” says Donaldson. </p>
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<p>Other poor relationship habits include: talking negatively about your partner behind their back, stone-walling or “punishing” them through giving them the silent treatment, and communicating abrasively such as using sarcasm, yelling, condescension and belittling. </p>
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<p>“All of these habits are damaging to a dynamic,” says Donaldson. “And if we don’t set high standards for ourselves in the way we communicate, they can rapidly become the norm.”</p>
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<p>It’s also important to remember that if you ever feel unsafe (or that the poor relationship habits are turning into abusive patterns) to get help and preferably, get out. </p>
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<p><strong>How to fix them </strong></p>
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<p>The good news is that, like any habit, we can create new ones. </p>
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<p>The first habit Donaldson recommends is to make the time to chat with your partner about your core values, plus anything that’s come up for you during the week. </p>
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<p>“It’s unfair to expect others to know our needs without being explicit. Practice stating your needs and asking your partner about theirs.”</p>
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<p>Another way to develop new relationship habits is to habit-stack them. For example, if you regularly go for a walk on a Sunday morning with your partner, use that time to check in with one another on how you’re doing and what you could work on in the relationship. </p>
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<p>“Plan activities every week that are fun and have a positive effect on your relationship. Often we get bogged down with work and other responsibilities and forget that having fun is integral to life satisfaction,” says Donaldson. </p>
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<p>“It means you can stay connected and it’s not extra effort to make time to talk about what matters.”</p>
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<p>If there are patterns of poor habits and a shared willingness to reflect on the relationship values, Donaldson recommends engaging in couples counselling. </p>
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<p>But, if you no longer enjoy being in your partner&#8217;s company, are scared of them, feel you’re walking on eggshells, or even just want a change, it’s a good idea to end the relationship.  </p>
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<p>“Enjoy your own space, stay in touch with friends and community and don’t lose yourself in a relationship.”</p>
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<p>This article was created in partnership with the Ministry for Social Development as part of its Love Better campaign.</p>
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<p>Partner Content Is Paid For By An Advertiser And The Advertiser Provides Creative Direction And Feedback.</p>
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<p>© 2023 VICE MEDIA LLC</p>
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