Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith share a longstanding marriage that has remained an open book to the public. Both actors have shared their moments of happiness and struggle with audiences over the years. While some of these discussions have been considered valuable insights for their audiences, others have stirred controversy. Apart from their relationship, the couple has also openly discussed parenting on several occasions.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

While the Emancipation actor was in the spotlight for the Oscar slap incident, he was also a topic of discussion around that time due to the release of his autobiography, Will. The Hancock actor co-authored the book with the famous self-help author, Mark Manson, and Smith did not hold back on any details about his marital life.

Also Read: “If you’re not a h*e, then you’re not really hip”: Lack of Freedom in Will Smith Marriage Deeply Hurt Jada Pinkett Smith, Changed Her Ideology as a Mother

The Time Will Smith Brought Jada Pinkett Smith To Tears

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith at the Oscars 2022

In his book, Will Smith detailed what he called the biggest argument in his marriage with Jada Pinkett Smith. The couple decided to attend therapy sessions to improve their relationship and save their marriage. During one session, both were asked to list their priorities in life. The couple took a few minutes to write it down and was then asked to exchange their list with each other.

As The Pursuit of Happyness actor went through Jada Smith’s list, he was confused and concerned, and it was even worse when he saw his wife in tears. Smith revealed that it was one of the most hurtful moments for him in their twenty-five years of marriage. Each of them had written down four priorities, and their order of priorities was entirely different.

The Red Table Talk host’s order was “the children, Will, Myself, Extended family, and friends”, while her husband’s order read, “Me, Jada, the Children, my career”. Recalling his wife’s emotional response, the Focus actor wrote in his book:

“‘I cannot believe you put yourself above our children,’ she said, her voice quivering.”

It was understandable for the Hawthorne actress to be upset about her husband’s priorities, after raising three children together. However, the King Richard actor had valid reasons for choosing his order of priorities.

Also Read: “I was profoundly disturbed”: Jada Pinkett Smith, Who Sat Through Will Smith’s Humiliating Moment On Red Table Talk, Was Not Comfortable At All After Willow Smith Brought Up One Topic

Will Smith Tried To Justify His Choice Of Priorities To An Upset Jada Pinkett Smith

Will Smith & Jada Smith with Jaden and Willow Smith

Will Smith, at every given chance, talks about his family and how they collectively tackle all the minor and major issues in each of their lives. However, his priorities were as surprising to readers as they were to Jada Pinkett Smith. The Men In Black actor explained to the Gotham actress that taking care of oneself is essential to caring for their family.

Assuring that he loved her and his children above anything else in the world, the Bad Boys actor tried to use an airline analogy to explain himself. Smith compared the situation to when airlines instruct passengers to put on their oxygen masks before helping others. Further explaining his choices to his wife, the Seven Pounds actor wrote in his book:

“‘Jada, all I’m saying is that if you don’t go to the gym, if you don’t eat right, if you don’t take your mental and emotional condition as primarys, you’re not going to be as good a mother. You take care of your kids by taking care of yourself.’”

Also Read: “I didn’t have to read anything”: Jada Pinkett Smith’s Strange Obsession Gave Her Free Pass in Keanu Reeves’ $1.7B Franchise That Was Turned Down by Will Smith

However, Jada Smith was not ready to accept her husband’s explanation. The Girls Trip actress was heartbroken, and Smith wrote that she even refused to wipe off her tears. However, the couple seemed to have resolved the argument and continued to cherish their marriage to this day.

Source: Will by Will Smith, Mark Manson

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Little Girl: And me, I imagine myself a giantess, so tall I rise above the canopy of any atmosphere like helium. I’m so light but have been trapped underground — but if I could have one thing that could never be, I’d become this giant. And I’d be so tall, that when I took a step backward, I’d cut through time as we know it — this linear progression, I would eschew and I’d go back to each of these moments in Stop 6 and engulf, enwrap, and enshrine myself — the most giant part of me around these girls, so no one could ever hurt them — and they’d be buried like me in the earth, like helium, trapped beneath the ground abundant, but too light to keep down, so we buried it. And I’d hold them so they would be safe, and I would protect them from the harm and violence. 

That’s my wish. That’s my imagination. I have the geographical coordinates. I know exactly where to go — and my steps would be deliberate. Because I wouldn’t care what cataclysmic effect ‘changing the past’ would have. I would show one little woman in this legacy of extreme and unmitigated sexual violence that she was worth protecting, even if it meant sacrificing the world — because ‘every child is potentially the light of the world’ and when you are born into a black hole, how can you shine? It must be magic, it must be magic, it must be magic because look at my daughters shining — physicists and cosmologists insist nothing can escape a black hole, ha! I dare them to understand the social reality of a neighborhood of Breedloves and claim that same theory.

That’s an excerpt from Dr. Toya Mary Okonkwo’s play entitled, “Our Real Life Pecolas and Oguu Chases the Sun from Collapsing Stars to Quasars: A Cosmic Play in Three Acts — The Importance of Igbo Storytelling in Expanding Black Girlhood Imaginations as Resistance to Social Erasure in Stop Six, TX.” In her play, she blends “the creative power of performance and visual storytelling to explore the subject of #blackgirlmagic as it relates to astrophysics and the neurobiology of transcending the confines of trauma.”

RELATED: How One Playwright Is Honoring Black Girlhood Stories

As Toya interviewed many Black women in preparation for her play, she learned about the suffering they experienced from their traumatic girlhoods in Stop Six, Texas. Although their pain was deep enough to ensnare them in a “dark place,” their radiant resilience makes their station luminous.

The Baha’i writings say:

Man, however, hath a twofold station: one luminous, the other dark; one pertaining to the realm of the Divine, the other to the world of nature; one inclined towards heavenly virtues, the other towards satanic qualities. For man standeth on the demarcation line between light and darkness. In the circle of existence, he is situated at the lowest point, which marketh at once the end of the arc of descent and the beginning of the arc of ascent.

For this reason, he is free to move in either direction: towards light or darkness, towards ignorance or guidance—depending on the one that prevaileth. Should the rational faculty prevail, man would shine radiantly and occupy a lofty station in the realms on high. And should the self and the lower nature prevail, the result would be darkness and he would fall into the nethermost fire. For in man the powers of the heavenly Kingdom and the forces of his animal nature are at war until one or the other doth triumph. The Glory of Glories rest upon thee.

Using the metaphor of stars, black holes, and quasars, Toya helps us gain a deeper understanding of the magical spiritual power and light of Black women and girls in this interview.

Radiance Talley: Hi Toya, what role does trauma play in pushing Black girls and women to become luminaries of the universe?

Dr. Toya Mary Okonkwo: Black holes are considered one of the most intriguing and inexplicable phenomena as they are essentially “places” in the universe with such immense gravitational pull that no known speed can escape them. There are varying types of black holes, like stellar mass and supermassive, but the general idea is that a celestial body, most likely a star, at some point, collapsed in on itself and the mass of the star condensed into a size so small it creates a singularity — which is the center of the black hole — the gravitational pull of the singularity radiates out to a point called the event horizon. Black holes are considered a one-way trip because once an object or particle crosses the event horizon, it will not be able to escape the black hole. Even light itself (which travels at a speed of 300,000km/sec) cannot escape because the gravitational pull of the singularity is too great. 

This is what it can feel like to be a Black woman whose girlhood is marred by intense and enduring trauma — your own and multigenerational — inescapable like the recesses of a black hole. Thus, we see this neighborhood I originally imagined as a hidden utopia, akin to my World of Conception, as a place where stars are being sent, but they keep collapsing under the weight of the levels of trauma and as they collapse they become these black holes with no escape velocity and no model of transforming. Act 3 is named Quasars, because while black holes are considered to be some of the most menacing of cosmological events, the gravitational pull they exert actually has been observed to attract particles and dust and universe matter to the outer perimeter of the event horizon. 

Radiance: For those who are not as well versed in astrophysics as you, can you define what a quasar is?

Toya: In the 1950s, astronomers discovered quasars (quasi-stellar objects), which have been identified as the most luminous thing in the universe. As cosmological matter and particles are attracted to the accretion disk of the supermassive black hole, they begin to orbit the event horizon before eventually falling in. These particles orbit at velocities approaching the speed of light, which translates to them giving off energy and creating light — the quasar. They appear to be star-like in the sky but are not actually stars like our sun. As material from this disk falls inwards, some quasars have been observed to fire off super-fast jets into the surrounding space.

Quasars are capable of emitting hundreds or even thousands of times the entire energy output of our galaxy, making them some of the most luminous and energetic objects in the entire universe.

Knowing that a supermassive black hole actually has the potential to become the most luminous thing in the universe, I was immediately filled with hope of redeeming the fallen and dying stars of Black girlhood in Stop Six. Act III takes up this challenge by engaging in speculative and imaginative alternatives for the stories the women told. In Act II, the Little Girls of Act I are downtrodden but discover an imaginative way to help the women of Act II tap into what has been there all along.

Radiance: Can you explain how Black women and girls can become quasars?

Toya: Black [women and] girls become quasars by recognizing when and how we stand on the cusp, a knife’s edge, of a supermassive black hole, a place with no known escape velocity, even for light, and of a quasar — the most luminous thing in the universe. The idea here is that each of us can choose to face our luminosity or the side of ourselves that is filled with an absence of light — and this shows up not just in the big life decisions, but in our day-to-day interactions with others, but maybe more importantly in our daily interactions with ourselves! How we care and love for the parts of ourselves that have been neglected or deeply hurt – so we can heal and bring this type of loving and living kindness to others. 

Toni Morrison has this excellent quote on the function of racism: “The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary. There will always be one more thing.”

I think this quote also applies to sexism, ageism, most any other form of intersectional discrimination that Black girlhood comes up against. And so one way we become quasars is to develop our powers of imagination, as a form of resistance, to push our thoughts beyond the racism, sexism, etc. that we encounter on Earth, to figure out who we are when these forces of extraordinary darkness are not keeping us from our work — what is my purpose and my work when I’m not marred down by these things which seek to destroy me?

We become quasars by relying on the creative methodologies and ways of knowing that value art and community, and recognizing our spiritual reality and tenure on this planet as temporal. 

Radiance: Yes, it’s so important to recognize our spiritual reality and understand that our physical reality, which is an illusion, is temporary. As you know, Baha’u’llah, the prophet and founder of the Baha’i Faith, compared people of African descent to “the black pupil of the eye surrounded by the white. In this black pupil is seen the reflection of that which is before it, and through it the light of the spirit shineth forth.”

Abdu’l-Baha, the son of Baha’u’llah and the authorized interpreter of the Baha’i writings, also wrote that the pupil of the eye “is the fount of light and the revealer of the contingent world.” He explained that, scientifically speaking, “the blackness of the pupil of the eye is due to its absorbing the rays of the sun, for if it were of another colour—say, uniformly white—it would not absorb these rays.” What role does this “fount of light” play in your vision of Black girls and women?

Toya: The pupil of the eye is literally a black hole. There seems to be an inextricable and intertwined relationship between something being black and something being full of light.

…The unity that Black girls need is also discovered internally. Unifying inherited and self-experienced tears in the fabric of our mortal life will produce luminous results that appear as bright as nearby stars. We achieve this unity spiritually, calling on the creative power of our imagination, rearranging our existence at the quantum level of possibilities. Banishing reliance on conventional ways of knowing and honoring that our beginning is ours to dream, imagine, create, and redeem. We are spiritual. We are light. We are stardust. When we unite the matter and the spirit, we will emit luminous light.

Radiance: Is there anything else that you would like to share that is important to this topic?

Toya: If we understand the physics of our reality, we have the power to bend, change, and re-imagine it. Escape velocity is another central theme in my play — what does it take to get away from the gravitational pull of any given mass? If you don’t know the EV for Earth, you cannot leave its orbit — so what of the EV for a neighborhood that has harmed you? What of the EV for an enduring legacy of oppression? What of the EV for unresolved trauma that has hijacked one’s sense of self? When we understand that these are important questions to consider, we can start to make incremental progress in our own journeys — and be part of exponential growth as a species and society.

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Since 2016, Christine Heinrichs has watched for new development in Cambria, challenging any project that she believes might aggravate one of the town’s scarcest resources.

“I just kind of watchdog those permits. The thing is, if no one appeals them at the local level, they just go through as approved,” Heinrichs told New Times. “I just think it’s crazy to keep on adding new users when, obviously, we don’t have adequate water.”

She believes that the Cambria Community Services District (CCSD) and San Luis Obispo County are rubber stamping development that the California Coastal Commission has repeatedly stated Cambria doesn’t have the water supply to serve. According to data from the SLO County Planning and Building Department, Heinrichs has appealed five projects to the SLO County Board of Supervisors since 2019. Supervisors heard three of those appeals on July 11, upheld the project approvals, and denied the appeals.

“The county’s position is if Cambria says they have water and approves this, then they take their word for it,” Heinrichs told New Times. “Even though they know perfectly well that Cambria doesn’t have water. … It’s just absolutely crystal clear that they should not be doing this, and yet they continue to do it.”

The developments under appeal on July 11 consisted of changes to existing single-family homes, projects which Heinrichs alleged were building accessory dwelling units (ADUs) that would create new and increased water use from the respective properties. At the Coastal Commission’s behest, SLO County amended its local coastal plan in April to explicitly outlaw the development of new ADUs in Cambria and Los Osos due to water supply issues.

click to enlarge

• File Image Courtesy Of SLO County
• APPEALED DEVELOPMENT Many of the development projects proposed in Cambria eventually get appealed to the California Coastal Commission due to water issues, which happened with a People’s Self-Help Housing project in 2019. Although the affordable housing development depicted in this rendering was eventually approved, the project has yet to break ground.

County Project Manager Nicole Ellis told the board that staff didn’t consider any of the projects to be ADUs and didn’t believe that any of the projects would increase the water use of the respective properties. One would construct an attached garage, bedroom, and bathroom to an existing single-family home; one would renovate within the existing footprint of a single-family home to add a bedroom and bathroom; and one would add a detached guesthouse, garage, and deck to to a single-family home.

“The planning department hearing officer did not authorize an ADU or secondary dwelling unit,” Ellis said. “Our department recognizes the severity of the water supply shortage in Cambria.”

The planning department reached out to the CCSD, Ellis said, to get data on the average number of persons per household, the average number of bedrooms and bathrooms in Cambria’s current housing stock, and the average supply of water those homes use. The projects, she said, fall within those averages, and so are not expected to increase water use from any of the homes.

Kathy Barnes, who applied to construct an attached garage, bedroom, and bathroom, said she and her husband have owned their property for 25 years, raised their children there, and were now caring for her ailing and increasingly immobile father—who is living in a small pass-through room between levels of the house. The new space, she told the board, would be used to accommodate current and future needs and make it easier for her father to access everything from a single floor of the home.

“We’re not going to go to the bathroom anymore than we do now,” Barnes said during the hearing. “I hope that you’ll let us move forward with this, and I hope that this will be the end of the appeal.”

Heinrichs responded by saying she was touched by the Barnes’ story and sympathized with the needs of their family.

“Unfortunately, Cambria’s water is finite,” she told the board. “This is a discussion between agencies at this point.”

Earlier in the hearing, she referred to a letter that the Coastal Commission’s Central Coast District director sent to the county planning department in April 2022. Commission staff responded to New Times’ request for comment by sending the very same letter, which staff said highlights the commission’s view of development in Cambria.

“There is insufficient water supply to serve even existing development in Cambria without coastal resource harm, let alone new water development,” Central Coast District Director Dan Carl wrote, adding that the commission had denied coastal development permits for each of the previous four single-family residential projects approved by the county that relied on the CCSD for water. “We respectfully request that you not file any more [coastal development permit] applications for such proposed development unless and until the water supply situation changes in Cambria and there is an adequate/sustainable water supply.”

Second District Supervisor Bruce Gibson, whose district includes Cambria, pushed back against Heinrichs’ use of the letter—which he said was written with regard to brand new development and “misrepresented as something applicable to this”—and her characterization of the projects that went before the board on July 11.

In the April 2022 letter, Carl specifies that the commission believes small home additions and renovations are unlikely to increase water use on a property, but that applicants should be required to demonstrate it with “actual evidence.”

“The project before us is not an accessory dwelling unit, it’s not an ADU, it’s not even close to an ADU,” Gibson said of the Barnes’ project. There is “ample evidence that it does not intensify water use.”

Heinrichs was not alone in appealing two of the projects, which Cambria resident Elizabeth Bettenhausen also appealed, stating some of the same concerns that Heinrichs had about the town’s existing water supply. Cambria’s water supply “is inadequate and unreliable,” she told the board on July 11.

“The CSD holds that if you have a water meter, you have a right to the water. That is the basic premise on both permits before you. … This is a big assertion,” Bettenhausen said. “They make these decisions as if water will flow down like a river forever.”

Past SLO County-approved developments in Cambria—such as an affordable housing project proposed by People’s Self-Help Housing in 2019—have been appealed to the Coastal Commission by Heinrichs, other town residents, and even sitting commissioners. While People’s Self-Help Housing’s project eventually received the green light, the commission has upheld the appeals of most of those projects, specifically ones that required new water service from the CCSD.

Heinrichs told New Times that Cambria’s situation is tenuous, with increased water extraction from Santa Rosa and San Simeon creeks carrying the potential to cause seawater intrusion, among other adverse impacts.

“Believe me, doing this does not make one popular in town,” Heinrichs said, adding that the CCSD has a dozen ways it promises water to new developments. “It’s paper water, and you know, it’s just subterfuge for allowing development.” Δ

Reach Editor Camillia Lanham at [email protected].

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Marianne Williamson speaks to the crowd at the launch of her 2024 presidential campaign in March. (Jose Luis Magana / AP Photo)

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The right seeks to win converts, an old political adage has it, and the left punishes heretics. Best-selling spiritual author Marianne Williamson scrambles this distinction in more ways than one. Williamson is something of an adept at conversion—having landed the imprimatur of name-brand lifestyle brokers such as Oprah Winfrey behind her justice-minded vision of ecumenical New Age faith. Last week, as Williamson set out to address a packed house at the downtown Washington franchise of Busboys and Poets, a chain of progressive minded bookstore-eateries in metro D.C., it wasn’t quite clear what sort of call to redemption was in the offing.

As the crowd waited for this “meet and greet fundraiser” to kick off, I fell into conversation with two women sporting T-shirts advertising Williamson’s campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination. Both were first-time political activists—professional life coaches who first came into contact with Williamson when they enrolled in a yearlong spiritual workshop she sponsored called “Miracle-Minded.” “She’s so courageous to be doing this,” one of them said. “She’s doing this from her heart.”

As Williamson begins her remarks, it’s clear that she is indeed speaking from the heart—but she’s not offering soft-focus homilies of personal growth and universal love, as our performatively jaded national political press is wont to assume. Instead, Williams relates a bracing recent visit to East Palestine, Ohio, the site of a catastrophic train derailment that spewed toxins into the air and poisoned area waterways. She describes an encounter with a local woman she calls Carly, who angrily confronts EPA and rail officials over their prolonged neglect of the conditions assailing East Palestine residents. Carly’s impassioned call for fair treatment and accountability came out of “a microcosm of what’s happening in this country,” Williamson says. She then recalls how she asked a group of locals what they’d want her to do for them if she were elected president—and here she pauses to invite guesses from the Washington audience what Carly’s suggestion had been. Someone calls out that she would have demanded that the CEO of the railroad be fired; another says she’d probably want the rail industry nationalized. No, Williamson says: Carly said she’d want a Williamson administration to “protect the Second Amendment.”

The exercise distilled Williamson’s takeaway message: “There’s an America out there that’s unseen by the policy-makers.” Another exercise drove home a similarly urgent moral: She asked the crowd how many of them knew of—or perhaps were—young people who have forsworn having kids because of the climate crisis and other maladies of global inequality. More than half of the audience raised their hands, prompting Williamson to announce, “This is not normal.”

No one, in other words, could plausibly suggest that this stump speech might be called “Miracle-Minded.” Indeed, Williamson kept hammering away at the incomprehension of the country’s political elites before a series of overlapping crises they are content to manage into administrative stasis. “How long before we yell from the bottom of our guts that it’s not so complicated—it’s just so corrupt?” she asked. She then related her discussions among the Democratic insider set over core issues of inequality: Initially, she’d prod this or that policy hand about doing something to remedy a stark injustice, and get the reply that, yes, something really should be done. Five years on, she’d note that the same problem was getting worse, and would again get waved away with vague talk of getting some legislative campaign moving. Then, 10 years on, the penny drops: “Oh, you sweet motherfuckers,” she laughed, “you’re not going to do anything.”

Williamson moved to Washington after her 2020 presidential bid, she explains, because she “wanted to get the feel of the energy here.” It hasn’t been encouraging thus far: “I’d heard that D.C. is a bubble, but it’s more than that—it’s a walled city.” She went on to cite a piece that Barbara Ehrenreich published in the 1990s on the plight of the American left, landing on this diagnosis: “What devastated the left in this country is that we were all invited to the White House once.”

Ehrenreich, who died last year, was someone I was privileged to know and collaborate with. I caught myself wondering what she, an irascible scientist by training who published a book taking down the self-help industry, might think about getting name-checked by an Oprah-anointed apostle of New Age self-care. But then I remembered that Ehrenreich had also written a book about her own idiosyncratic spiritual experiences, and I could readily imagine her seconding Williamson’s lament about the Democratic establishment’s treatment of insurgent reform campaigns like hers: “We’re treated like unruly children who are trying to hijack the Democratic Party. Well, I’m sorry, I’ve read the history, and you’re the ones who’ve hijacked the Democratic Party.” Williamson did slip briefly into life-coaching mode—but again, in a self-knowing, engaging manner—as she described the efforts of Democratic leaders to induce reformers to play along in the name of party unity: “We’ve all had partners like that—a lover who comes back every two years, every four years, and says, ‘Come on, baby—give me one more chance.’”

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She also engaged in more extended spiritual hermeneutics, closing her speech with a gloss on the David and Goliath story that culminated in the lesson that David had slain his foe in the one place he was vulnerable—right between the eyes, or as Williamson explained, “the third eye.” Goliath was defeated “because he had no soul,” she observed—but then brought the moral back into the present-day political scene. “Fascism is attacking our democracy from the outside,” she argued, and “neoliberalism is attacking it from the inside. Neither one of them has a soul.”

It’s the sort of insight that glib Beltway pundits would race to deride—but where’s the lie, exactly? While Williamson’s spiritual outlook might strike some secular ears as a kind of Left Coast frivolity, it’s not so different in substance from Hillary Clinton’s Methodism or Joe Biden’s Catholicism. What’s more, as Williamson also noted, prophecy-minded faith has long galvanized reform movements in America, from abolition and women’s suffrage to the civil rights revolution. Yes, Williamson said that “more than a political revolution, this has to be a revolution of consciousness,” and that we “need an uprising inside ourselves.” But that’s arguably more a difference in degree than in kind from William Jennings Bryan’s famed assertion that America’s producing classes were being crucified on a cross of gold—particularly given Williamson’s own focus on core matters of political economy such as student debt forgiveness, single-payer health care, and tax equity.

I’d hoped to catch up with the candidate after her speech to discuss some of this in more detail—to see how politics played into her energy, as it were. But as I came close to her, she was swept up and out the door by a group of handlers and followers. On my own way out, I chatted with Williamson’s campaign manager, Peter Daou, a former hard-core Hillary partisan who famously broke with party leadership to back Bernie Sanders in 2020. Another convert.

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