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How to Turn Your Grief into Creativity

mindsvalley99 — Mon, 17 Mar 2025 13:40:09 +0000

If you’ve ever grieved over a major loss in life, you know how profoundly painful it can be – so is there a way to creatively transform that pain into something else, something better?

Grief and loss can trigger many emotions and physical responses, some we can anticipate, some of which we cannot.

But despite how terrible we may feel in our grief and loss, this passage from Abdu’l-Baha humbly reminds us of the deep purpose and power of grief in our own personal development: “Grief and sorrow do not come to us by chance, they are sent to us by the Divine Mercy for our own perfecting.”

Emotions of grief and loss can be triggered through the death of a loved one, but also by the loss of a relationship or a job, or a decline in health, or even from tragedies that happen to others. Oftentimes, when we experience such traumatic events, we feel unlike ourselves, clouded, heavy-hearted and out of sorts with the world. Other issues such as depression, physical illness, and confusion begin to come to the surface. As a result we feel out of control and develop the inability to articulate in words how we feel and how we process our loss or trauma.

No one avoids suffering in this life – but, in the following words of Abdu’l-Baha, without suffering, we cannot progress:

Men who suffer not, attain no perfection. The plant most pruned by the gardeners is that one which, when the summer comes, will have the most beautiful blossoms and the most abundant fruit. The labourer cuts up the earth with his plough, and from that earth comes the rich and plentiful harvest. The more a man is chastened, the greater is the harvest of spiritual virtues shown forth by him.

So the next time you find yourself grieving, make art. The arts offer us all a wonderful opportunity to process grief, express our inner thoughts, and channel unspeakable and difficult-to-verbalize feelings.

Participating in a creative activity encourages us to use our imaginations, and detach ourselves from the pain we feel in moments of sadness. Unlike bottling up our feelings inside, the arts invite us to nurture our emotions in creative ways in a safe space. By being creative in times of loss and grief, we give ourselves license to express our imaginative powers and become open to divine inspiration. When we open our hearts to grieving through art and creation, we open ourselves to a conversation, one of meditation and spiritual communion:

A conversation can be held, but not as our conversation. There is no doubt that the forces of the higher worlds interplay with the forces of this plane. The heart of man is open to inspiration; this is spiritual communication. As in a dream one talks with a friend while the mouth is silent, so is it in the conversation of the spirit. – Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks

Engaging in any creative process gives us a break from cogitating, talking and doing, to simply being in the moment. By taking part in an artistic practice, it can act as the thread between our heads, hearts and hands. Reflecting on the outcome of our creative process often enables us to tell our story and process our emotions outside the moments of loss and grief.

Creating beauty out of pain can be incredibly cathartic, and also reinforces our resiliency as humans. For many artists, experiences of grief, sorrow, and adversity often lead to some of their greatest works. This is not to say that all artists should attempt to lead miserable lives, or continuously torture themselves, but that adversity could also present future opportunities and a depth in their work that otherwise could not be achieved:

O sincere servant of the True One! I hear thou art grieved and distressed at the happenings of the world and the vicissitudes of fortune. Wherefore this fear and sorrow? The true lovers of [Baha’u’llah], and they that have quaffed the Cup of the Covenant fear no calamity, nor feel depressed in the hour of trial. They regard the fire of adversity as their garden of delight, and the depth of the sea the expanse of heaven. – Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha

Research has shown that the grieving process has various stages. Denial, pain, anger, and depression can transition into an upward turn, reconstruction and acceptance. An artistic practice allows us to experience these extreme emotions in a safe way, and enables us to feel empowered to accept and then process the grief and pain, mobilizing us on the path toward healing. Like any language, art provides the key that enables us to speak the true feelings of the heart:

… the function of language is to portray the mysteries and secrets of human hearts. The heart is like a box, and language is the key. Only by using the key can we open the box and observe the gems it contains. – Abdu’l-Baha, The Promulgation of Universal Peace

By transforming our grief and sorrow into art, we can also pray to the Creator, detaching ourselves from the difficulties of this earthly life and asking for his protection and guidance. After all, Baha’u’llah has blessed those who engage in the arts and handicrafts, considering artistic endeavor as a form of worship – so why not use our pain as a way to grow closer to God, by engaging in creativity?

Blessed is he who in the days of God will engage in handicrafts. This is a bounty from God, for in this Most Great Dispensation it is acceptable in the sight of God for man to occupy himself in a trade which relieveth him of depending upon charity. The craft of every craftsman is regarded as worship. – Baha’u’llah, from a tablet translated from Persian.

Dear readers: I’d love to hear from you and learn about the creative ways you’ve channelled your sadness and grief. Please share in the comments below!

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Oregon ends ban on self-service gas pumps after 72 years: Confused motorists turn to ‘how-to’ guides and station attendants’ union slams the change as ‘blatant cash grab’

mindsvalley99 — Sat, 05 Aug 2023 21:24:48 +0000

Motorists in Oregon are expressing excitement and confusion after a 72-year ban on self-serve gasoline pumps was lifted on Friday.

Across the Beaver State, drivers took to social media to boast of pumping their own gas, while local new outlets published step-by-step instructions to help bewildered first-timers.

The change came after Governor Tina Kotek signed a bill allowing people across the state to choose between having an attendant pump gas or doing it themselves. The law took immediate effect.

That leaves New Jersey as the only US state that prohibits motorists from pumping their own gas. A few countries also ban it, including South Africa, where attendants offer to check fluid levels and clean the windshield, and expect to be tipped.

‘Today was day one where we were allowed to pump our own gas, I was super excited to go and do this myself,’ said TikTok user @pnw.bethany in a video on Friday.

However, she was disappointed to discover that she had accidentally pulled into a ‘full service’ lane at the gas station, where attendants still do the pumping, and vowed to return to the ‘self-service’ lane for the next fill-up.

Oregon resident Patrick Coffin fills up his car with gasoline at a gas station in Portland on Friday, after the state lifted a 72-year ban on self-service pumps

A TikTok user expressed excitement over the change, but was disappointed to discover she had accidentally pulled into a ‘full service’ lane where attendants still man the pumps

Oregon residents were divided on the change, with some expressing support, and others skepticism.

‘It’s about time. It’s long overdue,’ said Karen Cooper, who lives in Salem, said shortly before the bill was signed.

‘I’ve spent a lot of time in California,’ Cooper said. ‘I know how to pump my own. Everybody should know how to pump their own gas.’

Kacy Willson, 32, who has lived in Oregon her whole life, said she doesn’t have much interest in pumping her own gas. She’s only tried it a few times in her life.

‘It’s kind of nice to have someone do that,’ she said at a Portland gas station Friday. ‘I don´t really leave Oregon very much, and when I do, I have to ask someone how to pump gas, and I feel weird.’

When Oregon prohibited self-service in 1951, lawmakers cited safety concerns, including motorists slipping on the slick surfaces at filling stations subject to Oregon’s notoriously rainy weather.

In recent years legislators relaxed the rule and allowed rural counties to have self-serve gas available at night.

Then they extended it to all hours in eastern Oregon’s sparsely populated areas, where motorists low on gas could be stranded when there’s no attendant on duty.

The COVID-19 pandemic labor shortage helped drive a renewed push to allow self-serve across the state.

‘We live in a small town in a large county and can´t find employees to pump fuel,’ Steve Rodgers, whose community is at the base of the snow-capped Cascade Mountains, complained to lawmakers. ‘We are paying top dollar and also offering insurance, paid time off and retirement benefits, and still cannot fully staff.’

A gas station attendant shows a driver how to fill up her tank at a gas station in Portland, after Gov. Tina Kotek signed a bill allowing people across the state to pump their own gas

Motorists in Oregon are expressing excitement and confusion after a 72-year ban on self-serve gas stations was lifted on Friday

Local new outlets published step-by-step instructions to help bewildered first-timers

Haseeb Shojai, who immigrated from Afghanistan in 2004 and owns gas stations in central Oregon’s high desert, also lamented the labor shortage and described how wildfires, with increased intensity and frequency due to climate change, are having a major effect.

The state fire marshal lifted the self-serve ban during dangerous heat waves the past couple of summers.

‘Wildfires have been a factor in operating our business in the summer months, when it is hard for our gas attendants to stay for long periods outside in smoke and in heat,’ Shojai said. ‘We don’t know if we can stay open tomorrow or the next day or even next week due to the labor shortage.’

A union representing workers at grocery store fuel stations in Oregon predicted job losses and called the new law a ‘blatant cash grab for large corporations.’

‘With over 2,000 gas stations in Oregon, laying off just one employee per location represents millions of dollars a year that giant corporations are not paying in wages, benefits and public payroll taxes,’ said Sandy Humphrey, the secretary-treasurer of UFCW Local 555.

Under the new law, there can’t be more self-service pumps at a gas station than full-service ones. And prices for motorists must be the same at both types.

Gas prices in Oregon averaged $4.66 on Saturday, according to AAA, and the state has the fifth-highest gas prices among the US states.

Some residents grumbled that there would be no discount for self-service gas, questioning why they should want to pump gas themselves without a break on prices.

‘It’s bad enough we are expected to check out our own groceries now in most stores, but now gas too. We keep getting jobs we aren’t getting paid for and never applied for,’ resident Micky Garus wrote in a Facebook post.

People shared their views on the change on social media, as well as jokes referencing the ‘gas fight’ scene from Zoolander, seen above

A man pumps his own gas Friday in Eugene. Oregon drivers can now pump their own gas for the first time since the 1950s

A customer fills up on Friday in Portland. Under the new law, there can’t be more self-service pumps at a gas station than full-service ones

Some residents grumbled that there would be no discount for self-service gas, questioning why they should want to pump gas themselves without a break on prices

Other opponents of the measure worry that it could lead to the demise of full-service pumps, depriving older adults and people with disabilities of that option.

‘I have some real concerns that we are progressively getting closer and closer to eliminating Oregon’s fuel service law entirely,’ Democratic state Sen. Lew Frederick said on the Senate floor in June before voting against the bill.

Brandon Venable, a service station manager, had urged lawmakers to reject the bill, saying some customers are careless and that attendants keep people safe.

‘I deal with many dangerous situations daily created by people smoking, leaving their engines running, getting in and out of their vehicles creating static electricity, trying to fill up random bottles and jugs, and driving off with the pump still in the vehicle,’ Venable said.

Others wonder if motorists who are now clamoring to pump their own gas might be less keen on doing so when they have to stand out in the rain, cold and snow instead of remaining in their warm, dry cars.

Republican state Sen. Tim Knopp, who leads the minority GOP caucus, downplayed safety concerns as he described being allowed to pump his own gas because he belongs to a commercial fueling cooperative.

‘I have yet to light myself on fire. I have yet to cause any problems whatsoever as it relates to self-serve gas,’ Knopp said during debate on the bill. ‘So, colleagues, let´s make New Jersey the only state in the country that has a law against self-serve gas.’

The state Senate then approved the bill on a 16-9 vote. The House earlier passed it 47-10.

New Jersey’s 1949 ban on self-service pumps remains a source of pride for some in a state where bumper stickers declare ‘Jersey Girls Don’t Pump Gas.’

Since New Jersey has lower gas prices than New York and Pennsylvania, many drivers from neighboring states cross the state line to fuel up.

In 2015, lawmakers proposed ending the New Jersey ban, but the measure died because of opposition from the powerful state Senate president.

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Positive journaling course at Sherman Gardens aims to help people turn over a new leaf

mindsvalley99 — Sat, 17 Jun 2023 20:57:56 +0000

For some people, writing is about much more than putting words on a page. It’s an act that has the power to transform a person’s perspective, mood and way of thinking and being in the world.

Take, for instance, Ellen Bell. A lifelong writer, her style and subject matter have shifted over time, from short stories and poems penned in her youth to newspaper articles and historical essays.

“Writing has always been a constant thread in my life,” said the Newport Beach resident, who’s provided content for local papers and magazines as a freelance writer. “It’s an art and an important form of expression — I do believe it’s therapeutic.”

Next week, Bell will test that theory at Sherman Library & Gardens, when she leads a five-week course that encourages participants to foster emotions such as gratitude, curiosity, serenity and joy while exploring the grounds and then capturing the mood in words.

Facilitator Ellen Bell promises there will be no pop quizzes and no failing grades at her five-week mindfulness course.

(Courtesy of Sherman Library & Gardens)

“Writing Wednesdays: Positive Journaling in Sherman Gardens” will be offered from 10 to 11 a.m. beginning on Wednesday and continuing on June 28, July 5, 19 and 26. Writing materials will be provided to attendees who sign up for the series.

The facilitator emphasizes the sessions are not intended to make people better writers, but rather to help people cultivate a mindful awareness of their thoughts and feelings and, where possible, make adjustments to increase their positivity level.

“It’s not like writing in a diary. A lot of times with journals we find ourselves processing something that went wrong. This is more about feeling grateful for things that are actually going well and focusing on them.”

For example, a class might begin with a discussion or a prompt designed to get everyone’s creative juices flowing. Participants are then let loose to traverse the grounds, paying attention to objects that catch their eye or trigger good feelings or fond memories.

The idea is people will expand upon those thoughts and feelings in their journal, then later reconvene and share, if they want, what they experienced. Over a five-week period, the act of slowing down and nurturing better thoughts, and later revisiting them in the journal, becomes a habit.

Bell, who’s volunteered at Sherman Library & Gardens since last fall, said the concept for the course came from her recent two-year training as a meditation guide and from a book by author Megan Hayes called “Write Yourself Happy: The Art of Positive Journaling.”

“I found it in a bookstore in Claremont and thought this is what I’d like to teach and share,” she recalled.

Catherine Dickinson, an education director responsible for overseeing classes, lectures and kids activities offered in the gardens. Because many people come to the garden for sanctuary, rest and relaxation, she tries to offer courses that promote wellness.

She was thrilled when Bell mentioned her interest in trying out a positive journaling course.

“We all grew up writing in school, then most of us sort of let it lapse,” Dickinson said. “This is a great way to tune back into that creativity.

“I just want people to learn a new practice that they can take away into the rest of their lives, and I’d like them to have had a really positive and beautiful experience in the garden.”

Bell shares a similar intention.

“Ultimately, I want people to start to feel [this] is their oasis, a place they can come and be quiet. To me, that’s what mindfulness is,” she said. “I”m very interested in helping people connect with that, and the Sherman is just the place to do that.”

“Writing Wednesdays: Positive Journaling in Sherman Gardens” runs Wednesdays, June 21 through July 26 (except July 12). The cost is $100 for garden members and $125 for nonmembers. Sherman Library & Gardens is located at 2647 E. Coast Hwy., Corona del Mar. For more, visit thesherman.org or call (949) 673-2261.

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The Psychology of Self-Help: Why We Turn to Ourselves for Change

mindsvalley99 — Sat, 06 May 2023 01:08:50 +0000

Self-help has become a buzzword in contemporary society. From books to podcasts to seminars, the self-help industry has exploded in recent years, offering individuals advice on how to improve themselves and their lives. But why do we turn to ourselves for change in the first place? The psychology behind self-help reveals that it’s not just about finding a quick fix for our problems, but rather a deeper desire for self-improvement and personal growth.

One reason why self-help has become so popular is that it offers a sense of control over our lives. In a world that can often feel chaotic and unpredictable, self-help provides a sense of agency over our own destiny. By taking action and implementing self-help strategies, we feel like we can make a difference in our lives and create positive change.

Another reason why self-help is so appealing is that it can help us cultivate a positive mindset. Many self-help books and programs focus on developing a growth mindset, which is the belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work and dedication. This can be a powerful tool for overcoming limiting beliefs and achieving our goals.

Self-help can also help us overcome feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. By engaging in self-help practices, we can build confidence in our abilities and feel more capable of achieving our goals. This can be especially important for individuals who struggle with low self-esteem or imposter syndrome.

However, it’s important to note that self-help is not a cure-all for our problems. While it can be a useful tool for personal growth and development, it’s important to recognize that change takes time and effort. Additionally, some issues may require professional help or therapy to fully address.

In conclusion, the psychology of self-help reveals that it’s not just about finding quick fixes for our problems, but rather a deeper desire for personal growth and improvement. By taking control of our lives, cultivating a positive mindset, and building confidence in our abilities, we can make positive changes in our lives. However, it’s important to remember that self-help is just one tool in our toolbox for personal growth, and seeking professional help when needed is always an option.

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