There Are Limits: Is Self-Help Always a Good Thing?

Mental health content is everywhere! We have the traditional self-help book market, Instagram, TikTok, mental health apps, and podcasts like the Savvy Psychologist that I host weekly. But is self-help information always a good thing? How can you use what you learn from all these resources for your betterment?

Mental health resources are everywhere. What can you use to actually help you?

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I’m a big proponent of increasing access to information. However, not all accessible self-help content is good. There are times when it is not beneficial to keep yourself solely in the self-help category without the guidance of a mental health professional. In this post, you’re going to get Dr. J’s guide to good self-help.

Know the source.

The first thing to know is the source of the information you’re getting. Is this source a healthcare professional, influencer, or everyday person in the world? I recently attended an event where someone approached me to talk about techniques that they had learned for a mental health issue they were having. I asked them questions about these techniques and where they learned them and discovered that it was from TikTok. It turned out that the person that my new conversation partner was following was not a mental health professional; this TikToker was simply someone who struggled in the same way as my new friend and expressed that these techniques were helpful.

The problem was, these techniques were not having the same outcome for the person I was talking to. One of the things they were doing was contraindicated because of other health issues that they had going on. I encouraged this person to seek the help of a therapist who could work in conjunction with their primary care physician.

Everyone feels bad sometimes, and it’s natural to want to find help when you’re in a funk. Wherever you pick up information about your mental or physical health, pay attention to the source of the information.

Books are one source of mental health content. Whatever the source, consider it carefully.

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Understand the purpose.

Which is a good segue to my next point. Understand the purpose of the information or support you are seeking. This particular TikToker was providing a personal account of their struggles and what worked in their experience. There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The internet can be extremely validating because it exposes us to the fact that we aren’t alone and provides us the opportunity to create a community.

I am a big fan of creating a community! However, when I hear someone and I know that they don’t have a background in this area, I always want to explore the validity of that information before using it on myself or recommending it to others. Knowing the source and understanding the purpose can change how you perceive or interact with the information you are given. In all situations, I suggest vetting the information. Even if it’s from someone well-respected in their field, you want to get additional sources at the very least.

In fact, people like myself will encourage you to do just that. We are scientists, and replicability is paramount for a scientist because truth can be replicated. If I tell you that a technique works, it’s because I’ve read research and seen X number of patients with that presenting problem, and I have the data to show that the technique has a solid batting average.

When you engage with mental health information, ask yourself, am I consuming this information to manage my own health problems, to be more educated on this topic, to feel seen or heard by another, or to build community?

But what about mental health advocates?

Before you go on thinking that I am an elitist who believes everyone needs to go to the doctor, take a breath! I’ve worked with some wonderful mental health advocates and sex educators throughout my career. The best advocates and educators do tons of research, and they connect with licensed professionals in the field. There are even classes or certifications that they can pursue despite not having an advanced degree. However, they also stay well within the boundaries of their role, and they understand the limitations of the information they present as well as communicate that to their consumers.

Everything has limitations.

Be wary of anyone on the internet that makes big promises or swears that this one mental health strategy will fix all your problems. I’ve had folks say, “Well, I’ve been doing a manifestation mantra every day, and I know that any day now I’m going to get what I want.” Spoiler alert: That’s not how manifestation works. That’s like sending an email chain letter to 100 of your friends because if you do that, you’ll wake up next week with $10,000 in your bank account.

Self-Help Essential Reads

There is no magic bullet. I wish so much that there was; I would give it away for free! Change typically requires a lot of micro-movements that, when applied consistently, will result in large effects. Some self-help sells nothing but upside with no downsides. Yet, truthfully, at times there can be real downsides. One study found that 18 percent of therapists indicated that they had a patient who was harmed by self-help, and another small study found that 12-24 percent of patients experienced negative effects from self-help.

Know thyself.

Think about self-help the same way that you think about over-the-counter meds. For example, when I have a cold or a headache, I don’t go to the doctor. I walk over to the pharmacy and buy a cold medicine or a pain reliever. The same can be said about self-help. If I’m having a common, low-level issue, then self-help alone is likely going to be enough. However, if I am having a chronic or frequent problem, then over-the-counter remedies alone likely wouldn’t be the move.

For instance, if you had a headache every day and took Tylenol for the pain but felt that it wasn’t working, it would make sense to go to the doctor. Or if you get colds every month, you would start to think that it might be time to see someone. The same is true for mental health issues. If you’re not currently in therapy, a chronic issue may be a sign that you need some level of professional care. Because taking Tylenol when you have a migraine disorder isn’t going to go over very well for you. If you can’t find someone in-network with insurance, perhaps you join a psychoeducational group or see someone at a training clinic who costs less.

Really know thyself.

I have interactions with folks daily who tell me about their problems and explain how they’ve never gone to therapy and how they need my guidance on how to turn their life around. There is nothing I am able to say in an email or two-minute verbal interaction to do all of that. Why? The fact that it took me 20 minutes to read your detailed email message shows the nuance and complexity of the ailments that plague you—and each of us. Honestly, if I said I could change your life in one exchange, I would either be a wizard or a liar because you’re a snowflake, unique in your makeup and how you show up in the world.

One of the reasons that I love being a psychologist is because of the intricacies and idiosyncrasies that make a human who they are. Two people who look the exact same on paper are in actuality totally different. Why does this matter? Because I can have two patients who both grew up with narcissistic parents, were both sexually assaulted in college, and both have PTSD and depression diagnoses. For them, the treatments will sometimes be the same, and other times be polar opposites.

I utilize self-help resources with my patients all the time because these tools can be empowering and deepen the experiences individuals have in therapy. When solid self-help resources are identified, I have found that using them has helped some of my patients finish a course of treatment with me faster. This is because these patients were willing to do the outside homework.

Although many times useful, self-help can’t capture your nuances. Sometimes the only thing that can be done is to enlist the help of a professional.

To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

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